Workplace bullying isn’t new or uncommon. It plagues every industry and knows no political affiliation. In fact, many data sources (e.g. this study published in the National Library of Medicine) report that it affects nearly 50 million Americans, prompting much needed national conversation around the way we function at work.
As two professionals who have navigated this space for years, we have seen the devastating effects of workplace abuse on people first hand. There was one person who lost six pounds throwing up over the course of three days. There was the other one who stopped just shy of filling her mouth with sleeping pills because she could not take the abuse anymore. And then there are the increasing number of high profile cases that end in death.
The pain of workplace bullying isn’t invisible. It physically manifests as frailty, cancer, broken marriages, and lost earning potential. It’s tangible. It’s real. And, as Dr. Candia-Bailey and others just reminded us, it can be life threatening.
It can show up in many forms, and oftentimes, organizations will create systemic dysfunctions that propagate abuse through cultural norms that undermine the self-esteem of employees. As a result, many will find themselves working harder and harder as they are led to believe under-performance is their fault.
We see this in a variety of ways. Mistakes are covered up and blame wrongly apportioned. Employees who challenge abuse are labeled as self-centered and ostracized. Misstatements bleed into facts and victims become depressed and unmotivated. And then there is a chilling effect on others who quietly head for the exits.
Which is why workplace bullying hurts companies, too. It manifests as lost productivity, an erosion of ethical values that creates risks for the organization, viral Quittoks, and the devastating hit to the balance sheet through the form of lawsuits and lost talent.
We know all this because we have also experienced workplace abuse ourselves.
And when it happened to us, we didn’t have the frame of reference let alone the words to articulate the experience and dissonance that got in the way of asking for the help we needed. It was instinctual knowledge that something was wrong and the intrinsic resourcefulness of a Google search that saved us. It was both relieving and terrifying to learn something so damaging that can make you lose your voice and your identity in such a shattering way can happen covertly in our organizations. The reality is this: Nobody prepares you to deal with a bully and a toxic workplace.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. It is of urgency that we amplify this frame of reference so more and more vulnerable people can become attentive and alert to see what is written on the walls of our workplaces.
Having awareness about the nature of workplace abuse through either research, therapy, and/or education is a determining factor in a victim’s capacity to recognize the wrongdoing, lack of ethical behavior, and systemic dynamic that they could be embedded into. This awareness will also allow victims to become strategic to plan a successful exit before the damage to one’s career and livelihood is irreversible. In cases like this it’s critical to acknowledge the abuse is never about the victim, and all about the abusive behaviors that are enabled and not addressed at the organizational level.
Here’s what we learned: there are steps we can take during these dark hours to protect ourselves. Start by equipping yourself with knowledge, language, and tools that protect you from workplace abuse, recognize the red flags, and have effective mechanisms in place to not tolerate bullying and abuse. Document clearly and dispassionately citing specific violations of law or company policy. See your doctor. A medical record can bolster settlement agreements and/or start a workers comp claim. Speak to a lawyer. Many plaintiff-side attorneys will offer a free consultation, and even if they can’t help you immediately, they may be able to guide you in a better direction.
And know that you are not alone. The laws are changing to better support employees in this place. And grassroots organizations like End Workplace Abuse are advancing new bills like the Psychological Workplace Safety Act that would give harmed employees a cause of action in the event of workplace abuse. It’s time that the courage and lived experiences of victims of workplace abuse become a force multiplier and an inspiration for those who have the institutional power to change things and create meaningful infrastructures for safety, morals, and ethics in our organizations.